So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
