I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
