nut hugger
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Small penises have feelings too.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
this is an emotional support booty call
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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