Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
