careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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