This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
