You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
