ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
