oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
