Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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