I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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