Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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