I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
