I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
