try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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