I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
