i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
