i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
