He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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