Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
