I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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