does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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