their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
