Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
