so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
