its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
