We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
