you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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