Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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