I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
