She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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