No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
