Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
