super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
