Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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