mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There are leaves in my underwear?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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