I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
pray to the hookup gods
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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