yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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