so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
