and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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