So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
