I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
