When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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