so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
