Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize