do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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