she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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