he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
