If i come over, it means nothing
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
