Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
