I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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