Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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